At one time or another, everyone will encounter problems like anxiety, depression, anger, stress, low self-esteem or self-consciousness, or impulsiveness. Some people will face the added struggle of addictions or trauma.
Are you tolerating your problems?
Or have you grown tired of tolerating life, and are ready to take intentional, practical, effective steps to change, grow, and thrive?
It’s time to stop tolerating your problems and start thriving.
Here’s how to do it:
- Get clarity. When does your problem happen? When does it not happen? What’s different about those times?
- Pay attention to your contribution to the problem. How are your words and actions(or inaction) keeping the problem going or making it worse?
- Take the initiative to change. You might be tolerating your problem if you’re waiting for others to change or to fixthe problem for you. The bad news is: There’s no one riding to your rescue. The good news is: You can take the initiative to change.
- Do something different. You know the saying: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” Try this instead: Take 10 minutes to think about the problem you’re trying to resolve. Identify at least two other potential responses that might help. Write each potential response on a 3×5 card using an “if/then” or “when/then” format. For example: If I feel criticized the next time my partner complains that I leave my things around the house, then I will remind myself of my commitment to compliment rather than criticize. Instead,I will thank him/her for bringing it to my attention.
- Enlist allies. Find others who are working on similar problems with thesame goal in mind. Brainstorm ideas for other potential solutions.
- Get objective input. Get ideas from someone who is not involved with the problem and with no vested interest in the solution.Often, people outside your circle of relationships can see (and say) things your closer friends can’t.
- Keep at it. Forget the “it takes 30 days to make a habit” nonsense. Tolerating is a habit. Change is a lifestyle. Thriving is a lifestyle. Create a new and positive identity around the change you’re making.
Stop tolerating. Start thriving. Talking with a trained and licensed counselor can help.